Gundanium Chobits
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: Gundam Wing, Chobits. Chobits, Gundam Wing. ^___^ I'm glad you two finally got a chance to meet each other!
1. The Teaser

Prologue  
  
FLASH! Duet clawed at her helmet, trying to tear it off.  
  
FLASH! She dug her nails into the flesh at the base of her neck, prying at the connected cables.  
  
FLASH! The girl gave a plaintive wail before slumping over into the pilot's seat of the Washi Ookami. Likewise, the suit assumed a similar position and with a heart-wrenching groan shut down.  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
"Is she alright?" Duo asked breathlessly, clutching his left arm in pain. He watched as Trowa and Heero hacked through the mess of wires that had inexplicably massed in the braided girl's cockpit. Wu Fei had generously donated his katana to the cause before he allowed Quatre and Relena to cart him off to have his thigh stitched back up, but Duo refused to leave the site.  
  
After a few more tense moments had passed, the Perfect Soldier drew from the tangled jungle of technology the pale, motionless form of their fellow pilot.  
  
"Duet…" Duo whispered, snatching her from Heero and wincing in pain as his arm failed to support her. The two were lucky enough to be caught by Trowa, but the braided boy's vision went dark. 


	2. Okay, the actual story... ish... part......

**Gundanium Chobits**

            "Mornin', Sunshine!" Quatre smiled as he shouldered open the door to Duet's room carrying a tray with breakfast on it. He didn't expect her to be awake yet, but she hadn't eaten since lunch two days ago and if she didn't clean up after the other night's fight she would undoubtedly start a small culture on the blood-and-dirt soiled sheets she was lying on.

            Placing her meal on the bedside table, he coaxed the blanket from her clenched fists and ran a facecloth over her knotted brow. She relaxed a bit and her eyes fluttered open. "Shin," she complained and allowed him to wash her face free of the grime. 

            "No, you're not dead yet," the Arabian laughed, scrubbing behind her ears. She seemed a bit confused by the remark but was nonetheless enjoying the attention. "Now, go in the bathroom and wash off. When you're done, I left you breakfast." That said, he tossed the cloth into a pile of dirty clothes and walked out the bedroom door.

            "Shin?" Duet sat up and eyed the food intently. When it made no move to escape, she poked it. The eggs jiggled. "Shin!" Unreasonably amused by this display of non-solidity, she continued in her experiments poking, in turn, the toast (_Crunch!_), the butter (_Squish!_) and the juice (_Splash!_). 

            "Are you finished yet?" came a voice outside her door some time later. She replied with another 'shin' and the boy, mistaking it for a noncommittal response, opened the door. He blinked his one visible eye several times before stuttering an apology and looking away from the blatantly naked female pilot. Duet mimicked him.

            "Huh?" he frowned, cocking his head to the side. She did the same. "Duet, are you alright?"

            "Shin?"

            "HEY! QUATRE! DUO! GET IN HERE, NOW!" the banged boy yelled down the hall, and the two boys came running.

            "What seems to be the-Woah! Naked chick!" Duo declared before walking in and snatching an oversized shirt from the dresser the braided pilots shared. He pulled it over her head and stepped back. 

            "Shin," the girl deadpanned, plucking at the article.

            "There's definitely something wrong here…" he scowled, turning to face his friends, arms akimbo.

            "Do you think it's amnesia?" Quatre grimaced, eyes filled with worry.

            "Well, what exactly happened in her cockpit last night? Did her system malfunction?" Trowa asked, leaning on the doorframe and shoving his hands in his pockets.

            "There were a bunch of wires that weren't there before, but other than that-"

            "Could have been the ZERO system." Quatre shudder at Heero's suggestion. It was his fault for not uninstalling it once they found it… For it to have caused whatever affliction had settled over their friend would break his golden heart.

            Wu Fei limped up to them and simultaneously, five pairs of eyes turned upon Duet. 

            "Shin?"

_-_-_-_

            "Relena!" Duo yelled, jogging a bit faster down the hall to catch up with the blonde girl carrying a basket of laundry. She turned around, flashed him a smile, and placed the basket on the floor.

            "How's your arm?" Relena asked, plucking at the bandage she'd wrapped it in earlier. Staying with the pilots wasn't easy, but she still felt she owed them for their hospitality so she had become the on-site nurse.

            "I'm fine, but will you come and check on Duet?" 

            "What's wrong?" Her brow furrowed in worry.

            "I-I don't know! She's just…not normal. She sits there blinking and going 'Shin' and poking stuff…"

            "Uh…." Relena leaned back a bit since Duo was right in her face and blinked a few times herself. With a tentative hand, she reached up and felt his forehead for any sign of a fever. 

            "I'm NOT sick!" he protested and grabbed her wrist. "C'mon and see for yourself!"

            The two hurried down the halls and burst into the room that Duo used to share with Duet. What they found, though, only served to solidify Duo's claim.

            "What's she DOING!?" the braided boy cried, his jaw nearly dropping to the floor. He watched helplessly as Duet danced a clumsy rendition of whatever the singing banana that was Duo's screen saver was dancing. The awkward silence that followed this discovery was broken only by the aforementioned banana who was chanting "Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanutbutterjelly! Peanutbutterjelly! Peanut butter jelly time…"

            "Saving her screen, apparently," Relena replied wryly and walked up to the girl. She tapped her on the shoulder and Duet stopped.

            "Thanks." The two looked up to see Heero reclining on the new bed sheets, clicking away at his laptop. "I didn't know how to get her to stop without startling her."

            Duo gave him a blank look. "How long has she been doing that?"

            Heero checked his watch. "About three hours."

            Their faces fell. "B-b-but it's just a little banana that dances around the screen and-and… Now what is she doing?" Duo ceased his extravagant hand motions, and so did Duet. "…copycat…" he grumbled.

            There came a knock at the door and the four looked up to see Sally with a first aid kit under one arm. She smiled and set it down on the bedside table. "I came as fast as I could. How can I help you kids?"

            Duo sighed and pointed to Duet who was about to embark on an exploration under an oblivious Relena's skirt.

            "I see nothing out of the ordinary here," she smirked as Relena took a step to the left and the braided girl toppled over. Sally kneeled down beside Duet (who had not the sense to climb to her feet again) and took her wrist.

            "Besides being filthy…there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary…" she confessed, releasing the braided girl after a quick inspection. "Relena, come help me give her a bath and then we can make further inspections, okay?"

            Relena nodded and helped Duet to her feet, leading her gently into the adjoining bathroom. Duo considered following, but decided against it on the grounds that, if Duet did wake up, she would no doubt clobber him for seeing her naked. He could understand why she flipped out when other people we in the room versus just him between the sheets, but she hit pretty hard just the same.

            Once the door was shut, Sally ran the bath while Relena tried to get Duet undressed.

            "Take your shirt off," she instructed, pointing to the loose AX2000 top that hung past her knees. Duet cocked her head to the side and frowned as she had seen Trowa do earlier that morning.

            "Shin?"

            Sally busied herself in the cabinet under the sink, trying not to laugh at the younger girl's growing frustration.

            "Take it off!" she yelled, grabbing the corners of the shirt and yanking them upwards. Duet watched in amusement as it bunched under her arms and refused to budge. Sighing, Relena let it fall.

            "Put your hands up. Like this." The blonde girl put her hands straight up over her head and Duet did the same. This time the shirt came off without a hitch.

            "Shin?"

            Standing there naked without an inhibition in the world, the braided girl blinked curiously at her surroundings. It was all Relena could do not to throw herself at her, but Sally was still there.

            "Let me undo your braid…" she said, a bit more gently, and reached for the swinging plait. The cord untied easily and the chestnut locks fell long and slightly crimped to Duet's knees. 

            "Shin!" Duet cried and wrapped her arms around a surprised pacifist's neck. Relena froze and grit her teeth.  Duet was actually…afraid of her own hair? No, Sally just touched her…

            "I'm sorry, Relena. I didn't know she would startle like that," the doctor apologized, holding rubbing alcohol in one hand and a cotton swab in the other. "She's got a nasty gash back here."

            Relena allowed the shaking girl to remain curled under her chin in fright as Sally cleaned up the wounds. She was almost disappointed when the un-braided girl's newfound ADD kicked in and Duet began cleaning her own wounds. Sally stepped back and watched her.

            "If she has amnesia, she's learning awfully fast…"

            "Do you really think it's amnesia?"

            "Not at all… It's more like a hard drive that was overloaded…and crashed."

            The Sanq princess turned the thought over in her mind. Information overload…? 

~*~*~*~

**Tori: **Chi! ^___^

**Kegawa: **…Tori, I don't think ANYONE reading this has read _Chobits_…

**Tori: **HEY! Don't underestimate them! My readers are all well-rounded otaku!

**Kegawa: **What they are not are freaky college students who worship all things CLAMP.

**Tori: **¬__¬ You don't know that…


	3. Well, we've got the first part of Duo's ...

**Duet: ***wearing a pair of Chobits ears* Chi! ^___^

**Relena: ***also wearing a pair* Chi! ^___^

**Tori: ***holds up a banner that says "Behold The Power Of Chiis"

**Stanton: **…no more Shoujocon cosplay for you…

**Duo: ***runs in wearing only his boxers and holds a flashlight directly over himself* WITH MY ULTRA-LONG HAIR AND THIS _STRATEGIC_ LIGHTING, I SHALL _RULE_ THE COSPLAY AS SUPER-SAYIN TRUNKS!

**Stanton: ***facefaults*

**Trowa: ***walks randomly through the room* Can you hear me now? … Good. …Can you hear me now? … Good…"

**Duo: **____ MY COSPLAY!!!

**Trowa: **///_^ V

~*~*~*~

            "Water plus heat…equals steam. The world can be saved by steam!" Duo declared triumphantly, drawing the inquisitive looks of the other four boys in the room, who promptly went back to whatever they had been doing after they realized that no amount of inquisitive looks could save that poor boy from toppling off the edge of madness.

            "I've got it," Heero said a few moments later.

            "No. No… I've already fixed the US economy, patched the hole in the ozone, _and_ solved pi. The answer is steam," the braided boy argued, waving the Perfect Soldier off.

            "That's not what I was talking about… Come here and have a look at this."

            Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Wu Fei crowed in around Heero's laptop and squinted at the screen.

            "You're kidding me…"

~*~*~*~

            Relena hummed to herself as she poured another pitcher of warm water over Duet to wash the shampoo out of her mess of hair. The ingenious thing to have done would have been to turn on the shower, but the blonde girl much preferred this method as it allowed her to remain closer to Duet. 

            Sally's return startled her and she jumped a bit, splashing water all over the tile bathroom floor.

            "I'm sorry… That's the second time tonight," the woman smiled gently and bent down to swipe up the mess with a towel off the counter.

            "SALLY! SALLY! SALLY! SALLY! SALLY!" came five different voices from the end of the hall. They drew steadily closer, accompanied by the sound of hurried steps. The door burst inwards (which came as a shock because it was made to open outwards) and everything slowed down as first one, then another slipped on the wet ceramic tile.

            "…Quatre…?"

            "…yes, Duo…?"

            "…can we carpet the bathroom…?"

            "…any other time I would have said no…"

            "…will you two get off me…?" Wu Fei murmured from underneath the pile. They straightened themselves out and looked over at Heero and Trowa standing silently in the doorway, then at Sally stifling laughter, then at Relena sitting on the edge of the tub mid-pour, and finally at Duet who was far too busy inspecting a rubber duck to notice or care about what had just happened.

            "Was there…something you had to tell me?" Sally giggled, mopping up the last of the spill.

            Heero looked over his arm at her as he tried unsuccessfully to replace the door on its hinges. "I found something on-line that might have to do with Duet."

            The doctor's brow creased. "How so…?"

            The Perfect Soldier released the door and walked to Sally. He pulled a rolled-up computer print-off from where it was tucked in the back pocket of his jeans and opened it so she could see. A moment of tense silence followed, marred only by the door which succumbed to gravity and crashed rather loudly to the floor.

            "You think Duet…is one of these?"

~*~*~*~

**Tori: **I love Chi. She does the same things Duet does, but she manages to look innocent and naive doing them…

**Duet: **…Yukio…

**Tori: **ARGH!!! *rips up a Kodomo no Omacha manga* MY NAME IS YUKI!!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND AN 'O' IN YUKI!?!?!?

**Duet: **Tori, we can't speak anymore. I'm a bad influence on you.


End file.
